noonereadstheurl: I honestly can’t blame David Karp for wanting to sell this website You can only be called “daddy” by white middle-class teenaged girls so many times before something just snaps
unitedstatesofbooty: abercrombie and fitch more like abracadabra ur a lil bitch
beerito: i enjoy long romantic walks on the bitch
cosmopanther: I think the real question is why should a girl shave, preen and diet herself into oblivion for a guy in sweatpants and a t shirt who hasn’t trimmed his pubes in 3 years
calivie: update: i still hate myself
nickgrimshade: [salsa dances away from your shitty opinion]
imnotocake: do you ever just want to redecorate your bedroom and change your hair and all your clothes and completely reinvent yourself but then realise it takes time and money then retreat to your bed and hate who you are
Parent: my child got a B on their report card.
Parent: Oh I know I'll yell and insult them and unknowingly lower their self-confidence!
Parent: They'll get an A for sure!
biologytextbook: a support group for people who began using popular slang ironically but now cannot stop
itsmelisss: so i searched “ohio man” and got this gem of a headline and thankfully there was a picture along with this story
loveforeversmilealways: arlene13: why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a registered six offender i am legit in tears over this joke
dampsandwich: please wear deodorant
dareandwriteitdown: egredi: Reblog if your boobs glow in the dark. #mine glow blue when orcs are near
vomology: promo4homo: barfing: who remembers bettyspaghetty unrealistic expectations for the female body Knees weak arms spaghetti
Why do we call it truth or dare when we all know it’s really “who do you like” or “awkward sexual task”
frosla55: things i would rather take care of than a baby: plants cats dogs a great white shark a walker from the walking dead
yellfang: party-at-the-tardis: shavingryansprivates: why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died and fucking died humpty...
sexponents: did soulja boy ever tell em
sexualbread: *smells u deeply* u smell like my next friend
Me: Hi I'd like some cocaine please
Dealer: is pepsicane ok
shutupaubrey: i’d probably join a gang if it meant free fruit roll ups
palesexuality: cardinal-signs: palesexuality: pandochiisbox: palesexuality: 99 bottles of self hate on the wall take one down toss it around shit i knocked it on the ground fucking hell i’m such a piece of shit 98 bottles of self hate on the wall When you get to 0…do you suddenly start liking yourself? no you turn around and suddenly there’s 99 more bottles this is...
egberts: throwing ducks at bread
darrynek: but can bob the builder fix his crumbling marriage
treblesandtardises: this ain’t a it’s a
shalrath: hungry hungry ^ hungry hungry | hungry hungry o ———-> hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry hungry good heavens look at the time